Cómo ser moderno en 10 pasos

1.El uniforme

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Los skins llevan sus bomber, sus botas militares… Los heavys sus mallas apretadas y camisetas negras… Como moderno, tú eres distinto a los demás, con personalidad. Y eso se ve en la forma de vestir. Al ser moderno, serás el único que lleve chapas, gafas de sol de policía o de vista de pasta negras, zapatos Camper, pantalones anchos que dejen ver tus calzoncillos de Calvin Klein y chanclas para salir por la noche rollo “paso de todo”, chaquetas de chandal con las mangas a rayas… Y si eres chica, serás la única en llevar merceditas, medias de rayas, cinturones de perra, camisetas a rayas de “donde está Wally”, una corbata, bolsos de ir a la compra…

Más moderno todavía...

Uno de los puntos fuertes del uniforme y las pintas, está en la androginia. Chicas hombrunas y tíos con rasgos copiados de Brian Molko son lo que más está pegando ¡No te quedes atrás!

Móntate un weblog

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Está claro que para ser moderno, es muy importante tener un weblog. De esta forma, puedes contarle al mundo todas tus moderneces. Los weblogs son páginas web personales que pueden servir de escaparate de todas tus fantasías y reflexiones más variopintas. Aprovéchate de él para contar todas las fiestas a las que vas, qué malo es el mundo en guerra, por qué no vas al festival de Benicàssim, cuáles son las últimas canciones que ponen en Siglo 21 (programa de Radio 3 que debes oír, por cierto, IMPRESCINDIBLEMENTE para ser moderno)…

Mejor aun es un fotoblog, en el que poder poner fotos de todas tus fiestas, las caras de tus coleguis, y la ropa que te vayas comprando y rompiendo.

Más moderno todavía...

Incluye, en el fotoblog, fotos de tu gato, así como una tracklist con la banda sonora de tu vida, poniendo las canciones más modernas que jamás hayas oído nunca. Intenta, también parecerte a Bjork o a Amelie en tus fotos si eres chica, y a Guille Mostaza de Ellos, si eres tío.

3. Omnipresencia

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Para ser moderno, no te puedes perder un sarao, tienes que estar en TODOS: conciertos, inauguraciones de exposiciones, de restaurantes; festivales de música, de arte, multidisciplinares (mezcla de arte, videoarte y djs, ¿se puede ser más moderno?),… Todo se basa en enterarte de esos saraos, ir sin avisar a nadie, y luego encontrarte a tus coleguis allí. Qué cool es eso…

Más moderno todavía...

Recuerda que lo importante de todo es “haber estado allí”. Intenta recorrer varios sitios la misma noche con tu cámara de fotos (digital, claro), acabar en un after, y luego dile a tus amigos “¿no estuviste anoche allí? Yo sí, fue una pasada”. ¡Quedarás genial!

4. Soulseek y mp3, buena combinación

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El avance de las últimas tecnologías ha hecho que cada día sea más fácil ser moderno. Da igual que en tu pasado hayas repudiado de los ordenadores, y hayas pensado que lo de Internet era para friquis. Ahora quieres ser moderno, y necesitas un ordenador conectado a Internet. Ahora, gracias a las redes P2P, puedes bajarte más y más música, toda la que sale en esas revistas que te compras y en siglo 21, aunque luego no la oigas.

Soulseek es el programa utilizado por excelencia; el Kazaa y otros por el estilo son para pringados que no saben quienes son Chk!, Chk!, Chk! (tú tampoco hasta hace dos días, pero ahora son imprescindibles). Ahora, gracias al mp3, puedes decir frases como “tengo la discografía completa de Autechre, ya que cuesta muy poco tenerla en el disco duro, y menos aún bajártela, ya que tus padres te pagan internet para que estudies. Eso sí, para ser moderno no hace falta que la hayas oído entera, basta con tenerla en el disco duro. Artistas como Autechre, Alec Empire, Noriko Tujiko, no hay huevos a escucharlos más de diez minutos seguidos, pero qué cool queda tenerlos en el disco duro…

Más moderno todavía...

Con lo fácil que es hacer música hoy en día, y siguiendo la filosofía del “Do it yourself” que ya hicieran los Sex Pistols, bájate un par de programas de hacer música, un teclado midi, y conviértete en el rey de la tecnomierda: ¡saca tus propias canciones! Además, hacer las letras de las canciones es muy fácil, con temas como: la moda es lo peor, me gustan los Chupa Chups y la Nocilla, críticas a otros músicos, putiferios, porno,…
Algunos nombres de grupos tecnomierda que todavía están disponibles y que puedes usar: electrozorras, puticuero, los chochetes eléctricos, somos lo peor, electropornoclash, la habitación verde, la habitación rosa, la habitación gris

5. Gastronomía. El moderno es sibarita

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Hasta hace nada, le ponías cara de asco a tu madre cada vez que te ponía pescado para cenar. A ti te gustaban las hamburguesas, los macarrones y los espaguetis a la carbonara… Pero ahora que eres moderno, las cosas cambian: te gusta el sushi. Te encanta el sushi. Si oye tu madre que comes pescado crudo, te mata por chaquetero, pero es que ella nunca entenderá lo cool que resulta distinguir, delante de tus amigos, entre sashimi, sushi maki y nori maki.

Más moderno todavía...

Si de verdad eres moderno, el sushi que más te gustará es, por este orden, el de tortilla, el de langostino y el california (con bocas de mar y aguacate). Intenta desafiar a tus amigos en el restaurante japonés pidiendo cosas que ellos desconozcan: chirashi, gyosa, yaki tori (¿no sabes lo que es, tío?)

MÁS MODERNO AÚN
Explícales, también, desde tu postura de moderno, la gran e increíble diferencia que existe entre el té que toman tus amigos habitualmente, y el té japonés, ¡porque tú la sabes! Haz de la misma forma con la cerveza japonesa –Sapporo, por ejemplo-… ¡Cómo se nota la diferencia!

MUCHO MÁS MODERNO AÚN
¿Te has planteado hacerte vegetariano?

6. Cambio de valores

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Al igual que sucede con el sushi y el pescado, cuando eres moderno, hay términos que cambian de valor. Siempre has pensado que a tu padre le gustaban cosas antiguas, pero ahora tú has despertado un especial gusto por lo oldie . Hace unos años, te reías de la gente mayor que oía a los Smiths, New Order, etc. (vaya carcas), y ahora a tí te encantan. Tampoco es lo mismo cuando en la 4ª planta del Corte Inglés dicen “moda joven”, que tú, que sabes lo que es la ropa trendy y cool. Los ruidos que dan por culo, ahora se llaman click’n'cuts. Y el sonido que sale del Casiotone que te regalaron al tomar la primera comunión, ahora es electro, y sirve incluso para dar conciertos. Un sitio con olor a vómito, gente ciega con los ojos en blanco, un tío que se parece al Humberto Janeiro bailando a las 10 de la mañana, es un after (cuando toda la noche no es suficiente para ser moderno). Lo que tú bebes no es ginebra con limón, ¡es ginlemon!

Más moderno todavía...

Recuerda que un moderno no inventa, solamente que es el primero en copiar, así que no te inventes tus propias palabras, y sácalas de las revistas y weblogs que veas.

7. Intolerancia, sí señor

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Uno de los puntos fuertes de ser moderno es la intolerancia que te debe caracterizar. Con lo que mola ser moderno, quien no lo es, ¡es que es gilipollas! A ti te gusta Miss Kittin, porque es lo que toca, pero es que gente como Bisbal o Andy y Lucas ¡deberían estar muertos! No entiendes cómo la gente puede ser tan vulgar, ¿verdad?
Tú, como moderno que eres, tienes tu flequillo, tus chapas, tu mochila rollo mod… Pero la gente, ¿cómo pueden comprarse la ropa en Zara? No se dan cuenta de que van todos iguales? ¿Por qué no van, como tú, al Pull & Bear? Un moderno es de los pocos especímenes que es capaz de acudir a manifestaciones anti-globalización con zapatillas Nike, e irse luego a comer sushi al piso (de Ikea).

Más moderno todavía...

El colmo de lo moderno es meterse con las cosas modernas, ser anti-moderno. Por ejemplo, el año pasado fuiste al Sonar, pero este año no, entonces el Sonar es una puta mierda, y Benicàssim también.

8. Personalidad y distinción

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Ante todo, tiene que quedar claro que tú no respondes a las estrategias de marketing destinadas a la gente normal, tú respondes a las estrategias de marketing destinadas a los modernos.
Ahora te gustan las zapatillas Puma, las Adidas Originals,… esas zapatillas que se ponía tu padre para recoger tomates, y le costaban cinco veces más baratas que a ti ahora…
Si el grupo Entre Ríos se hubiera dado a conocer en el Gran Hermano, no los podrías ni oír, pero como lo han hecho por el Soulseek, Spanishpop y por Siglo 21, ¡son la caña, tío!

Tu fuerte personalidad también se ve plasmada en tus amistades. Tienes amigos gays que, a pesar de eso, son simpáticos. Tienes también un amigo japonés con el que, aunque no puedes hablar más de dos palabras porque no se entera de nada, ¡puedes hacerte fotos para ponerlas en tu weblog!

Más moderno todavía...

Cuando un amigo tuyo friqui te pasó por el Soulseek la canción de Dragonstea, era la caña, ¡qué canción más friqui! Te bajaste el vídeoclip y todo. Pero ahora, recuerda, para ser moderno, hay que borrar eso del pasado y repetir: “Por favor, qué asco de canción”.

9. Pelos y peinados

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Ya sabes que el pelo es una de las partes más importantes de un moderno, ya que te caracteriza a primera vista. Debes dejarte un gran flequillo que te permita tener algún ojo tapado para cuando te fotografíes con tu gato para salir en tu weblog.

Una práctica muy utilizada por los modernos es cortarse el pelo tal y como lo hacen las grandes estrellas, pero 3 años más tarde. Por ejemplo, Beckham ya llevaba cresta años ha, y ahora aparecen los más modernos del lugar con cresta. Y qué decir del corte de pelo del Vaquilla, corto por arriba y largo por detrás…

Más moderno todavía...

El truco de todo esto está en pasarte más tiempo despeinándote que peinándote. Y no te olvides de los ganchitos del pelo, da igual que seas tío o tía: ¡viva la androginia!

10. Trabaja en sitios cool

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Mucha gente piensa que lo más moderno y cool es cenar y comprar ropa en sitios fashion, pero están equivocados. Lo más cool ya no es acudir a estos sitios, sino trabajar en ellos.
Trabajar los viernes y los sábados de 12 a 8 poniendo cubatas en una discoteca es, hoy por hoy, uno de los puestos de trabajo más solicitados por los modernos. Cómo mola tener una camiseta de Custo para mancharla de aceite sirviendo foie con caramelo, mientras suena de fondo el disco de Saint Germain.

¿Y los festivales? Un buen moderno entra gratis al Observatori, al FIB, al ESTE,… porque trabaja como colaborador –colaborando a pegar posters por la ciudad, a barrer el suelo…-.

Más moderno todavía...

Lo más moderno, en este caso, es gastarte en vestuario más de lo que cobras. ¿Será por pelas?

Y recuerda, si algún día te echan de un sitio, y ya no trabajas allí, automáticamente ese sitio pasa a ser lo peor. ¡Puaj!

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Comentarios:

A mí, el dacálogo moderno me cambió la vida, y crei que, sin duda, el mayor logro de Alababarada.
Es un decálogo taaaaaaaaaaan moderno, que no pasa de moda. Yo no me canso de ojearlo, y me parto cada vez que lo leo. Pero claro, es que yo soy moderna, moderna DE VERDAD, y, claro, como moderna, los que van de modernos me hacen una gracia…
;)

Lo dijo claradriel el 03.11.2006 a las 22:55

Tios,me habeis ocnvencido, me voy a hacer moderno. Por cierto, donde me puedo crear una weblog?? Ya me quedé flipao cuando crearon una emisora para “El Pucherillo” en internet — que por cierto podeis poner como link, no?–.
No me quiero perder ninguna de las fiestas cool, y la ropa ya la tengo en casa desde hace años… Todo ha sido por vergüenza…

Lo dijo Cebrian Rillo el 08.11.2006 a las 21:08

Yahaa!! La primera vez que leí el decálogo cuando se publicó no pude parar de escojonarme… Enhorabuena por todos estos años!!!

Lo dijo zireseta el 15.11.2006 a las 13:34

Bueno, mi opinión es que esta gente son unos pedantes.
En la vida con la educación se puede llegar relativamente lejos, pero hay un problemilla…
la educación no me hace sonar tosco. Así que añadiré:
Los modernillos son una pandilla de gilipollas, subnormales, imbéciles, que van a festivales de mierda, y la guarras de las tias dan casi más asco todavia, escuchando música de mierda, ropa asquerosa y siendo pedantes. Muerte a ellos y a los grupos de música que escuchan, que os jodan, muerte a los Smiths!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kill, fuck, die!!!!!!!!!!!

Lo dijo Tito Dan el 01.12.2006 a las 12:42

Vaya, el Tito Dan como reparte estopa (o canto del loco).

Lo dijo Chema el 01.12.2006 a las 15:38

xD..

si al final son todos iguales.

Por cierto, te has olvidado el H&M, ropa retro-moderna y para los que no pueden pagarse marquitas caras en tiendas fashion…

Lo dijo wakka el 02.12.2006 a las 15:22

El Tito Dan reparte palos de ciego, porque me da a mí que los modernos definidos más arriba no conocen ni a los Smiths… como son de hace más de 20 años…

Lo dijo Acid Queen el 02.12.2006 a las 16:26

solo sois una panda de degenerados sin ninguna ilusion por vivir.los skins mandan y tienen mas personalidad k los modernos de mierda porque sois una mezkla de muxisimas tribus sub-urbanas(punks,hippies,heavys,poperos…etc.)no teneis ninguna ideolgia,bueno si…comer en el macdonals,y como no…KONSUMIR,KONSUMIR Y VOLVER A KONSUMIR.viva la birra joder.k os peten a todos warros sucios.a y por cierto…los “maxos”modernos SOIS….TIRITIRITIRITIRITIR

Lo dijo la ke korta el bakalao el 02.12.2006 a las 18:02

guau, una castigadora, de las que me molan a mí, …..TIRITIRITIRITIRITIR

Lo dijo TIRITIRITIRITIRITIR el 02.12.2006 a las 23:04

ahahahaha
esto está lleno de modernos, si por algo se meten a esta pagina asuman que es porke algo de moderno tienen ;)

Lo dijo el_zebah el 27.12.2006 a las 16:25

No tenéis ni puta idea de lo q es ser MODERNO… Al contrario de lo q la gente piensa, “moderno” significa clásico, anti-snob, perdurable, q marca líneas y conductas a lo largo de los tiempos… no consiste en dejarse arrastrar por la última tendencia (efímeras todas ellas x otra parte), línea de pensamiento o conducta del momentito, xq mola y ya está. Moderno es… ser de centro derecha, liberal, peinarse y vestir correctamente, acatar las normas de conducta socialmente aceptadas, combinar correctamente los colores, asumir que el trabajo y no la ociosa holganza de la mayoría de “modernos” es lo q nos hará libres, somerterse a las normas de la buena higiene (que algunos oléis q matáis), gozar de la vida en familia y de un pensamiento cristiano, evitando siempre el consumo de drogas (si acaso algún pedo de whisky en fin de año) y la peligrosa promiscuidad que tantas enfermedades propaga… Eso es ser moderno.

Lo dijo Fernando el 13.01.2007 a las 18:25

Querido Fernando,

¿por qué te enojas tanto? Dices que nosotros no tenemos ni idea, pero por lo visto “la gente” tampoco, según tú.

Lamento no haber tenido en cuenta tu opinión al escribir el artículo, y haber tenido en cuenta cosas como que “moderno” significa “clásico”, “ser de centro derecha” y cosas así.

Como bien diría Risto, tenemos en nuestros comentarios a los que lo han entendido y se ríen; a los que aportan comentarios enriquecedores; a los que se quieren publicitar su weblog y, ¿quién faltaba? El que se creía moderno hasta que se ha dado por aludido en este artículo, y que se toma la vida tan en serio como este artículo. Si tú nos conocieras…

Lo dijo Sr. Crus el 13.01.2007 a las 19:56

¡¡Eso!!

Lo dijo Acid Queen el 14.01.2007 a las 00:19

Yo es que, con esto… como que me quito 20 años de encima, oye.

Lo dijo Acid Queen el 14.01.2007 a las 00:21

entré por aqui buscando informacion del barrio de Ruzafa para un reportaje que estoy preparando y me encuentro con esto de ser moderno en 10 pasos, buenisimo! jaja

Lo dijo wildrose el 14.01.2007 a las 12:31

Vivir en Ruzafa tambien es moderno, ¿eh?

Lo dijo Sr. Crus el 28.01.2007 a las 22:26

que horror, creo que soy moderna desde hace como 10 años O_o

momento… entonces actualmente no soy moderna…

entre en un conflicto existencial

graxias =)

Lo dijo wakawakawaka el 06.02.2007 a las 08:24

Yo al menos el sushi no lo como en la calle………. yo me lo llevo a la playa, ¿dónde sino?

Lo dijo la gatita norte el 07.02.2007 a las 14:00

O sea, un viaje de ida y vuelta de las algas. ¿No?

Lo dijo Chema303 el 07.02.2007 a las 17:09

Claro! para que estén cerca de su habitat natural antes de morir……… que bonito y que cruel a la vez……….ohhhhh

Lo dijo la gatita norte el 08.02.2007 a las 16:55

Saben algo??

me importa una mierda si dicen cualquier cosa sobre los modernos!

yo no soy moderno…

pero son aun mas tela k ta tropa de flaites españoles que postean arriba!

Lo dijo Rubori! el 27.02.2007 a las 23:04

He tenido que buscar el significado de la palabra flaite.
http://www.frikipedia.es/friki/Flaites

Lo dijo Chema el 27.02.2007 a las 23:33

Brayatan, Jovanathan…dan ganas de cambiarse el nombre, que nombres más chulos.

Lo dijo bidelo el 28.02.2007 a las 13:17

Disculpa si te hice buscar el significado..
mi vocabulario aveces es inentendible hasta para mi mismo
xD
en fin

Chauz!

Lo dijo Rubori! el 03.03.2007 a las 01:59

Imprescindible un amigo negro y otro gay, o un amigo japonés -se acepta vietnamita, koreano..- pero no de los que venden cervezas, esos no molan, sino de los que saben varios idiomas y toman drogas. Punto extra si llevan gafas de pasta. MAS MODERNO TODAVÍA: si tienes un amigo negro y gay, u oriental y gay a la vez. Y si en sus ratos libres pintan, pinchan o diseñan flyers serás la envídia de tu grupo de pilates.

Lo dijo Gobo el 16.03.2007 a las 15:27

R.A.E.

(Del lat. modernus, de hace poco, reciente).

1. adj. Perteneciente o relativo al tiempo de quien habla o a una época reciente.

2. adj. Que en cualquier tiempo se ha considerado contrapuesto a lo clásico.

3. adj. p. us. Dicho de una persona: Que lleva poco tiempo ejerciendo un empleo.

4. m. En los colegios y otras comunidades, hombre que es nuevo, o no de los más antiguos.

5. m. pl. Las personas que viven en la actualidad o han vivido hace poco tiempo.

Lo dijo s'amic d'en jose-ra el 23.03.2007 a las 00:34

jejeje
Como ha cambiado esto desde la última vez que miré la web… He buscado los pasos para ser moderno para asegurarme de que no me equivicaba de web!

Me he vuelto a partir, por cierto.

Lo dijo Marta el 01.04.2007 a las 16:21

ajajaja yo soi moderno y trabajo en zara
ajajjajajajajaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Lo dijo nicolas el 06.04.2007 a las 02:29

Un pin de Snoopy para el de Zara

Lo dijo _seed_ el 23.04.2007 a las 19:03

ya kería ver yo una wena y detallada definición de todo lo ke he estado observando por las calles ultimamente…muy acertado.
oye, eso sí, el sushi ke no me lo kiten esos petardos, por dios!

Lo dijo serpienta el 22.05.2007 a las 00:28

Sublime, absolutamente sublime. Lo único malo es que todos somos un poco “modernos”. Alguien que no se haya sentido así alguna vez no podría escribir ésto con tanta perfección ni tampoco descojonarse cuando lo leyera.

Se ha convertido usted en mi ídolo del día. Quizá me arrepienta dentro de un rato de habérselo dicho. Quedaría más moderno insultarlo con palabras rebuscadas y hacer referencia a sus posibles traumas psicólogicos, pero haré una excepción poco cool.

Saludos.

Lo dijo Uva el 25.05.2007 a las 22:07

De verdá pepe esto está lleno de modernas…de MIERDA!!
con eso ya soy la más moderna, y además tengo un amigo gay y me enrrollo con él a menudo oh si!!

Lo dijo Vero el 26.05.2007 a las 16:59

Jo, Uva, se agradecen comentarios así, se agradecen.
Por supuesto que somos todos un poco modernos, ¿no?

Lo dijo Sr. Crus el 26.05.2007 a las 20:34

El sushi se queda, faltaría más!!… ains..
¿Si me llevo un tupper al primavera?, quedará de un moderno!!… ja,ja,ja

Lo dijo La gatita norte el 29.05.2007 a las 12:36

[...] No puedes ser un dj de éxito con esa camiseta marca "Recuerdo de Toledo" y esos pantalones de pana. Piensa que vas a convertirte en el nuevo idolo de toda una generación de fiesteros que van a acudir a los locales en los que pinches, intentando que les apartes por unas horas de su aburrida y deprimente vida. ¿Crees que ver a alguien con una pinta como la que llevas les va ayudar?. En fin, en alababarada tienes algunas indicaciones de cómo debes vestir en caso de que decidas ser un dj moderno, un dj bakala o, incluso, un dj emo (con esto último igual es más díficil que logres el éxito masivo, que los fans se suelen suicidar jóvenes). Síguelas y cuando ya lo tengas, regresa al punto 2. [...]

Lo dijo killthemosquito.com » Blog Archive » Manual definitivo del dj de éxito el 31.05.2007 a las 19:22

De nada. Sí, eso es lo malo. Buscando la originalidad caemos todos en la misma mierda. Estoy harta de ver y llevar el peinado de Amélie, portar camisetas de lunares e idolatrar a artistas que llegué a aborrecer durante mi infancia en el coche de mi padre sólo por sentirme socialmente aceptada.

Propongo una rebelión de atuendos en forma de saco con insignias de hilo personalizadas. Quiero ser una patata.

Lo dijo Uva el 03.06.2007 a las 20:44

Acabo de ver con mis propios ojos que para vestir moderno ya no hay una estética fija, lo que hay que tener es un par de güevos para salir a la calle con la ropa de tu abuela, combinado con el bolso más grande y feo de tu abuela también y las victoria….. eso es indispensables y si las costumizas con un rotulador, son lo más…… y lo de combinar colores y estampados, se ha acabado, rayas con cuadros van perfectos y pantalones cortos combachos tipo pañal de bebe también….
Me recuerda a cuando me disfrazaba de pequeña con la ropa de mi madre, me ponía una blusa de aquí, una falda de allá, el primer cinturón que pillaba, unas gafas de sol que me venían enormes y los labios pintados…. que moderna era entonces y no ahora….. sniff

Lo dijo La gatita norte el 04.06.2007 a las 11:45

Y qué barato resulta… Piénsatelo bien.

Lo dijo Acid Queen el 04.06.2007 a las 15:29

Ya!! pero es que aquí somos de provincia y llamaría mucho la atención….. en Barcelona es que son más….. además que poco favorece!!

Lo dijo La gatita norte el 04.06.2007 a las 16:46

oye sabeis cuanto valen unas llantas oz racing 15″ ? al poder ser en blancas como se salen.
jaja
modernos ??
el que es moderno no lo sabe todavia…
gora euskadi

Lo dijo uno mas el 05.06.2007 a las 00:35

Me meo viva jaujauaj, cada vez hay más gte asi, y lo peor es q no son adolescentes desbocados buscando su estilo, sino gte de 20 xa arriba, o lo q es peor de 25 y 30 tb.

Lo dijo Rocio el 08.06.2007 a las 22:15

bueniiiisisissiiiisssimo el decálogo de los fashin-cool buenississsimoo pero apuntaría más y más moderneces. Moderno es aquél que jamás acude a la inauguración de una nueva discoteca porsiacaso resulta ser un fiasco modernil y se espera a que vayan otros modernos para asegurarse el punto y luego comentarlo, moderno es aquél que su película favorita suele ser trainspotting, la vida de bryan o vé en charlie la fábrica de chocolete un mensaje oculto y subversivo muy edificante.el Moderno moderno anti-todo se va al cine Verdi o floridablanca a ver peli-bodrios en version original (véase Vietnamita, Checo, Búlgaro,Arameo antiguo …jaj) y luego se guarda todas las entradas para que un día “sin querer” se le caigan al suelo y ahí se abre la veda para explicar lo fantástico del movimiento pos-muro de Berlín que vió la semana pasada en el verdi.moderno es aquél que acude solo al cine y jamás jamás come en él ya que da mucha rabia esa gente del populacho que comen en los cines y con su masticar rumiante joden la peli de moda a los mas modernos. Moderno es el que viviendo en Gràcia (barrio modernísssimo donde se cuecen muchas moderneces) se desplaza hasta El mercat de la Boquería para ir a la paradeta dels bitxos a comprarse una piruleta de escorpión y una bolsa de grillos al cheddar que esa noche ofrecerá como plato estelar a sus comensales para probar hasta qué punto son modernos. (el que no vomite se habrá ganao el titulo de moderno de por vida) Los modernos viajan a sitios como…formentera (que ibiza ya esta muy denostado) japón,sidney,amsterdam y demás moderneces alejadas del clásico viajero español como mallorca, sevilla, lloret de mar, la riviera maya…los modernos llevan Vans personalizadas en una web e incluso tatuadas por su amigo mod el tatuador que le tatuó las bambas de cuero nike limited edition.Amigos de modernos: un tatuador muy tatuado, una japonesa dark, un gay negro diseñador de moda, camareros del razzmatmierda, camareros del apolo, camareros de ibiza, peluqueros modernos del borne, e incluso vagabundos pués “ellos si que saven de la vida, no como los burgueses que nos rodean”luego en la cena familiar de navidad no creays que se van a darles de comer en comedores sociales noooo se irán a la casa de Bonanova donde aún viven con sus padres y donde aún se estan sacando la carrera con casi 30 añazos que tienen y donde si la yaya les viera con las pintas que llevan le daría un patatús de ver lo corto que ha dejado su nieta su vestido de verano de los güateques que le pidió casi llorando porque era lo más, ah! y la camiseta interior de encaje blanco que tan bien le iba en los fríos inviernos que tambien se la ha churrimangao la mu´puta!!

Lo dijo parrús hilton el 09.06.2007 a las 20:54

Este deaclogo es genial, es que ha acertado en todo.

pero creo que hay una cosa que no esta bien. En 3 años mas o menos que llevo escuchando siglo 21, nunca he oido a Entre Rios,uno de mis grupos preferidos. siempre me he preguntado porque no salian en siglo21 con lo buenisimos que son.

Lo dijo marta el 29.06.2007 a las 17:06

Pues yo odio a la gente que come en el cine… para merendar ya está el Macdonalds. ¿La gente no puede pasar hora y media sin comer o que?
Cuando sales te vas a tomar algo tan ricamente y comentas la peli y eso.
Es que encima, suele coincidir que los que comen también comentan la peli durante la misma…. ¿será que una cosa lleva a la otra?

Lo dijo La gatita norte el 03.07.2007 a las 16:18

esto es lo peor ke e visto en toda la red. voy a acer como si no ubiera visto nada. me parece ke todo el mundo esta influenciado por la moda, una moda inutil para no mas ke una panda de ignorantes ke se cren ke son mejores comiendo sushi?hola??estamos locos o ke¿¿?deplorable….

Lo dijo dafne el 05.07.2007 a las 22:58

guau! qué moderna, que sólo pone h en sushi.
creando tendencias, tú sí que vales!!!

Lo dijo maiquel_nait el 06.07.2007 a las 00:53

Desde luego, hay problemas con la comprensión de la ironía, y con la ortografía.

Lo dijo Kramp el 07.07.2007 a las 14:24

Aguardiente señores, matalauva, Cazalla, doble cocción…. Aguardiente y boinas con rabillo. Esa es la nueva moda que se avesina. “Ey tio que burro más guapo llevas. Y esas jangarillas son tope güai”. Quizás no os lo creereis pero yo soy vanguardista y pionero, vengo del futuro y lo he visto todo. En cuanto a estilos musicales, pués miren, quizas no les suene “Currito del Gastor”, pero va a ser todo un crack.

Modernidad, je je modernos vosotros jeje… dejenme que les diga una cosa, son más antiguos que mearse en las tapias.

Lo dijo Reostias el 09.07.2007 a las 21:57

Totalmente de acuerdo con lo que dice clara, a nosotros los modernos, o mejor dicho Hipermodernos, porque lo mio ya raya la modernidad modernisima, (me pongo la hebilla del cintirón en la cadera izquierda en vez de en el centro y las gafas de sol con las patillas para arriba) por poneros un par de ejemplos.
NO NOS GUSTAN LOS MODERNOS.

Disfrutar del iFUCK (.) (.) __]

Lo dijo Jose Mairal el 10.07.2007 a las 14:50

[...] De Cómo ser moderno en 10 pasos y de flaite en la frikipedia Descojonante la entrada en la que se explica cómo ser moderno en 10 pasos. No te pierdas los comentarios, igualmente descojonantes en su mayoría. [...]

Lo dijo De Cómo ser moderno en 10 pasos y de flaite en la frikipedia « La bitácora de Raúl Carmona el 11.07.2007 a las 19:47

k kool ez zer modrno no?????
viva el modrnizmo
viva zapata
viva lo fashion
viva zer kool
viva odiar a loz nakoz
viva todo
jajajaja chao

Lo dijo jicxs el 27.07.2007 a las 02:38

jajajajaja me ha gustado mucho más el de los emo, no hay mas de estos? tendrías que hacer uno :”como ser kinki/cani en 10 pasos”

Lo dijo Amparomanuela el 28.07.2007 a las 13:40

me encanto, esto me refleja mucho, ya que yo soy asi en todo sentido, la onda es mesclar lo nuevo con lo viejo y apostar a la androginia

Lo dijo C-Ute Fa!!Boy el 29.07.2007 a las 09:12

maz zanta ezoo =D

Lo dijo DiiiTa'w el 08.08.2007 a las 22:58

madre mia..nose como hay gente qe puede vestir asi porqe vaya pintas madre!
da asco ver a gente asi y esto se yama tener personalidad?
buahaha..pero si es una pagina para hacer qe todos sean iguales..
ñañaña..

una de personalidad xaxo

Lo dijo filiberta el 11.08.2007 a las 15:41

[...] BONUS: PEASO DE POST QUE ME PASO BORGE. DECALOGO DEL MOENNO! [...]

Lo dijo Gafapasteerr « Oh My Blog! I Can’t Believe It! el 20.08.2007 a las 19:18

ala yo hago casi todo lo que esta ahi!!!! que emocioooon osea que tambien soy moderno!!!!!

Lo dijo panchito el 02.09.2007 a las 06:30

meparece queestoes una mierda que nosirve para nada

Lo dijo jessica el 04.09.2007 a las 02:04

LoL…
es una wea estupida..osea…
la gente tiene q ser como se sienta comoda..no como la sociedad…q se hace llamar “cool” y “moderna” t lo exija… es una estupides esta pag..y toi aki x el ocio wn!! q hace un vihualin aki!! pura caca la pag..

Lo dijo HaIDa el 23.09.2007 a las 05:01

ptmr esta pagina es una webadaaaaaa q esperan q no le mandan un crakerrrrrr

Lo dijo hanns el 25.09.2007 a las 05:31

jajajaj, HaIDa, sin embargo tu fotolog es taaaaann inteligente…

Lo dijo maiquel_nait el 25.09.2007 a las 11:14

Pero a ver..
Alguien que escribe esto, también será moderno, por ser anti-moderno, segun tus propias conclusiones ;)

Lo dijo scker el 24.10.2007 a las 11:23

Pero bueno, ¿aquí la gente no se ha enterado que la palabra “cool” ya no se utiliza?…. ains, cuanto costais de criar, ostisss

Lo dijo La gatita norte el 30.10.2007 a las 22:42

esto del emo no es tan facil pero al igualñ hay que intentarlo yo por lo menos quiero ser parte de ellos …

Lo dijo paula fernandes (paco) el 31.10.2007 a las 01:32

[...] No tenía pensado yo dejarme caer por ese festival pero al final me decidí por descubrir nueva música y porque en el fondo soy un moderno (que no gafapasta). Voy a hacer una breve crónica de lo que en mi objetiva opinión ha sido este festival. Los que no hayan ido al festival, que no sigan leyendo porque hay un spoiler. [...]

Lo dijo Wintercase 2007 o la reivindicación de los teloneros | Potorrismo el 27.11.2007 a las 01:26

Pues estoy absolutamente en desacuerdo con esa crónica: Ratatat no pasan de curiosos, Explosions son buenos pero efectistas y pasaditos, Spoon son un pedazo de banda con grandes canciones, Superfurry son los mejores por sus canciones y por su todo, y Editors son unos plastas, repetitivos, cansinos y muy muy sobrevalorados…

Lo dijo Acid Queen el 27.11.2007 a las 02:41

Pues mira, no se me dan mal estas crónicas telegrama…

Lo dijo Acid Queen el 27.11.2007 a las 02:42

Pues a mí Ratata me gustaron más de lo que esperaba y Explosión in the sky también….. grandes descubrimientos!!… eso sí, corroboro en que lo mejor SPOON y después SUPERFURRY…… Editors un poco plastas, síiii…. reconozco que tienen varios temazos, pero ya está,…

Lo dijo La gatita norte el 27.11.2007 a las 20:03

Muerte a los modernos!!
Son todos unos xulos de mierda q no saben hacer ná!!
Me encanaBA el canto del loco, i aora los odio, tos los pijs los leban, i ellos se dieron cuenta, asiq se izieron unos putos comerciiiales!!

MUERTE ALOS MODERNOS!!

Lo dijo Cool_Kiiller!! el 14.12.2007 a las 22:38

TENGO PROBLEMAS, NO SÉ SI EL QUE ME HAGA REIR TANTO CADA VEZ QUE LO LEO, AÚN SIN CONOCER A CUANTO PERSONAJE NOMBRAN, ME PUDIESE CONVERTIR EN ALGO NO AGRADABLE A TANTO CHICO MODERNO QUE ME GUSTARÍA PILLAR… QUÉ HAGO?!!

Lo dijo SINPLAN el 15.12.2007 a las 02:03

Fácil: hazte EMO.

Lo dijo Sr. Crus el 15.12.2007 a las 16:42

ajajjajajaja me meo de la risa, ya era hora de que alguien se riese se esos pateticos

Lo dijo zwek el 19.12.2007 a las 03:00

Divino esto sin duda alguna, poseo casi todo estos tips, y ya los sabia de antes, obviamente…Aunque desearia trabajar en un lugar de mas Glam …..en fin Buena la musica electro, es lo mas, tambein alguna que otra banda de rock de los 70′s me mata,
Besos que tes very bien ^^

Lo dijo Facutte ^^ el 06.01.2008 a las 15:49

No sabeis nada, creeis que por que la gente siga esos 10 pasos de mierda que alguién se los ha inventado y los haya puesto aquí la gente ya es moderna! hay que ser un patetico imbecil para creer que con eso ya eres moderno, no hay leyes ni reglas para ser moderno, cada uno es como es y como quiere, sin seguir nada, la gente que quiere ser como listas que te ponen como ser así es porque no sabe ser él mismo, tiene que AYUDARSE en unas tontas listas… por favor, es ridículo. Igual que los emo, dicen que dan asco bisbal, bustamente, o gente parecida, porque a ellos no les guste no tiene que ser una mierda, y eso de cortarse las venas? es una novedad o algo? es madre mia, que imbecibilidad, hacer el favor, cortarse las venas y quedaros hasta que os desangreis, vereis que modernos soys! viva lo gilipollas!!

Lo dijo QUETONTOS el 09.01.2008 a las 01:49

Desde luego, no sabemos nada. Menos mal que hay gente que se da cuenta que no hay que seguir estos 10 pasos para ser moderno. Gracias por la aportación.

Bueno, esto es lo último que escribo, porque me estoy cortando las venas, y me estoy quedando hasta que me desangre, como tú has dicho…

Ahgggghhh…

Adiós, mundo pseudocruel…

Bill, Tom, os quieroooooh….

Lo dijo Sr. Crus el 09.01.2008 a las 20:28

Desde luego “hay que ser patético”… para no tener sentido de humor, sí.

Lo dijo Acid Queen el 09.01.2008 a las 21:16

guac.
que asco me da este articulo.
odio a los “modernos”. son una bola de copias sin chiste ni gracia

Lo dijo Laura el 05.02.2008 a las 23:55

La verdad si es muy tonto el k kree en 10 cosas para ser moderno sáben algo deben ser solo ustedes la moda la crean cada uno no krean en lo k dicen los demas krean solo lo k ustedes krean k es bueno para uno mismo

Lo dijo Realis mar el 09.02.2008 a las 19:17

ser un emo es una porkeria todos ustedes son jotos mejor metensen un palo por el culo yo soy un metalero.

Lo dijo brian el 13.02.2008 a las 19:12

los 10 pasos son una mierda yo solo les doy 1 paso saben cual es botensen ala mierda y chupen my dick emos de mierda su cultura m da asko, soy un dark.jjajajajaja si m kieren concoer preguntenles a sus mamas. jejejejejjeje.

Lo dijo dick el 13.02.2008 a las 19:18

mmpues yo opino ke cada kien tiene Diferente forma de pensar y de vivir iop en lo personal rerpeto la forma de vivir de los emos pero no entiendo porke sufrir si lá vida es hermosa se as k.ien seas buenoq creo ke estodo c.haoo!

Lo dijo princesská!! el 18.02.2008 a las 09:12

kisas ser tu mismo se alo mejor sintener ke imventar o copear al guntipo de vida o de moda bueno tampoko kiero decir ke se as un x pero valdria mas ser tu mismo! Teresa_princess1992@hotmai.com

Lo dijo princesská!! el 18.02.2008 a las 09:24

YO creo que Fernando, el que define ser moderno como clásico y de centro derechas, familiar y cristiano… va de coña y es un graciosete.
La tribu urbana de los modernos es una cosa, y otra es el arte Moderno, la arquitectura Moderna, Los Estados Modernos, y lo que en historia de define como Modernidad, que son categorías bien específicas en determinadas disciplinas. Buscad en Wiki la definición mundial de “moderno”, no os quedéis con la barrial y que está de moda hoy.

Lo dijo Necium el 07.03.2008 a las 15:31

Igualmente, el decálogo es muy bueno, un poco cruel, y se ve que el primero que es “moderno” aquí es el que lo ha escrito, que conoce demasiadas sutilezas, pero se ve que resentido de su propia condición… ¿te han echado del clan?

Lo dijo Necium el 07.03.2008 a las 15:37

COMENTARIO FUERA DE LUGAR

Lo dijo nexy el 10.03.2008 a las 08:29

COMENTARIO FUERA DE LUGAR

Lo dijo nexy el 10.03.2008 a las 09:04

hay ta pues ah soy linda por ahi por ahi un chico normal q no sea emo, o una chica normal q sea bis

Lo dijo saphyra00@hotmail.com el 10.03.2008 a las 09:05

primero saludos desde mexico pero que cosa mas cool o moderna esta define la actitud de un chico que te encuentras en la calle jejeje y mira que me pase mas buscando que decia algunas de las palabras modernas que en comprender que decir y escribir las cosas mal es moderno algo digno de poner en el punto 11

Lo dijo javier el 18.03.2008 a las 02:26

__peOple,;D
Q tal,;D
está biien el aRtiiculO ,
perO le faltan algunOs detalles,,,
ii le sobran
pOr ejemplO un mOdsernO
es iguual Q piijO
ii a ningun mOdernO
le gusta trabajar,
nii en ibiza nii en ningun siitiO
le gusta estar cOn lOS amiigOS
aciiendO 1000 fOtos para recOradar
viiste de pull xa un diia nOrmal,
xo xa saliir
viiva hilfigeR,Burberry,DKNY,levis,diOr,,,
le encanta iir a la mOda tOtal
ii lOs grupOs de mussica Q aQii dices de mOdernos,
nO lo sOn para nada,,,
aOra
house mas Q nunca,!
viva david Getta
viva pacha,!

un saludO
besOssssssssss(*

Lo dijo ,,,meRi_[!]* el 10.04.2008 a las 21:33

petarda xd

Lo dijo motherfucker el 28.04.2008 a las 23:57

me parecio chevereeeeeeeeeeeee y pues mola

Lo dijo kell el 14.05.2008 a las 23:57

me gusto el comentario de Fernando asi es pana.. el de fernando y tambien el de todos los que opinaron que este articulo era un gran camion de ñoña diarreica… tubieron q estar demaciado ladillaos para hacer este articulo tan patetico.. me da asco de pana.. no tienen nocion de loque dicen o hacen!

Cuidence saludos
Rock n Roll 4e

Lo dijo chen el 16.05.2008 a las 21:07

¿Por qué no van, como tú, al Pull & Bear?
Jajajajajaja, Tremendo vamos XDD

Lo dijo elena el 22.09.2008 a las 11:56

El moderno de verdad asume que marca tendencia, la que le venden y la disfruta y la goza….
El moderno de verdad se anticipa con la tendencia que le han vendido y disfruta del el exito entre sus colegas borregos modernos que se sienten a la ultima pero que realmente no lo estan, y no son tan modernos y no disfrutan del mismo exito, al fin y al cabo, lo mismo es, entonces, pensando y recapacitando con esto de ser moderno, lo moderno de verdad es que cada uno sea moderno de la manera que quiera, pero a raiz de tanta recapacitacion,
tengo varias preguntas?
vamos, que no entiendo si entran dentro del concepto de ser moderno de verdad o del moderno de mentira o del moderno pijo o el de clase B, o no se de cuantos tipos diferentes de modernos existen en la actualidad, la pregunta es:
es moderno quien lleva unas convers , pero quien lleva la imitacion?es menos moderno?es un moderno de clase b?o un moderno borrego?y si lleva las convers falsas,pasa al contrario es mas moderno todavia?
y del concepto alternativo?
no es moderno ser alternativo?
lo alternativo ha dejado de ser moderno o se ha convertido en moda?
es una moda sana? de liberacion mental o de ataduras, una investigacion hacia lo que te interesa, como aquel amig@ de los mp3 en su casa, no es cultura? en el caso de que solo se limitara a tenerlo guardado en su memoria por lo menos ha tenido de escuchar algo de sus pertencias, la musica acompaña tu vida, y que todo el mundo tenga posibilidad de culturizarse es maravilloso, moderno?, te lo dice una andrógena
el moderno de verdad nunca comeria en un mcdonald, y una persona con dos dedos de frente tp y se haria un fotolog y no seria moderno, mi abuela no tiene facebook pero si se lo hiciera seria moderna.
el cambio constante, tutankamon y su silla plegable, el sushi y los limpios japoneses, la tortilla de patatas o la española, la wii y las birras en bares alternativos o modernos? o con la musica que encuentras en tu pc de 1 TB? el cien o el teatro? o los toros y los churros? en fin se acabo

Lo dijo LeSadeDisigner el 01.11.2008 a las 23:51

moderno viene de mod que es un movimiento cultural en los años 60 esta chica del blog te explica muy bien de que va facha asqueroso que tendra que ver ser moderno con ser de derechas si soys unos retrogradas incultos que solo leeis basura evangelical , esto a ti te queda muy grande vete a un blog de la familia y sus costumbres o alguno que se llame jesus te ama anda anda anda..

Lo dijo popopop el 13.12.2008 a las 18:39

saven k esto me parece ridiculo
todos somos como somos
para k necesitamos ser modernos k caso tiene
ser el centro de atencion creerse
la gran cosa gastar dinero en porkerias
creen k comer en la calle es lindo osea k horror
asi se dicen modernos k asco comer en la calle
y encima para ser moderno tienes k vertirte como payasa copnvinar cosas k no van ps
llamr la atencion diciendo solo pase por alli
k se creen no despedicien la vida
ps
creen k un trabajo digno es poner cubatas en una discoteca y entrar a un lugar por k trabajas ahi
y si te despiden k te paresca lo peor
soy tan solo una niña de 14 años
k no conoce muy bien la vida pero no es tonta
tantas cosdas lindas k hay ben la vida k tratan de ser algo k no les nace solo
lo hacen po k esta de moda sean originales
podemos ser modernos pero no llegar al extremo de convertirse en el asme reir de los demas
oseas piensan k es lindo pero es horrible lo k hacen
si eres moderno cambiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Lo dijo niniaconfundida el 01.01.2009 a las 21:11

Pero por qué hay taaaanta gente que entra en esta página no se da cuenta de que es un artículo IRÓNICO, joder! Tan difícil es? ME encantan esos que dicen…aiiii yo quiero ser como lo que pone ahi….y para los que dicen que esta página no vale nada y blaablaaablaa….míralo desde una postura inteligente, y digiere que el puñetero artículo es para reírse de tanta tontería que hay suelta por ahí!!
Y DEJAD DE ESCRIBIR CON DOS IES!!!LA ORTOGRAFÍA ESTÁ PARA ALGO!! qué penita…
Este artículo NO es para ser modernos, es para descojonarse de los que hacen estas gilipolleces…que parece que hay que explicarlo a la gente que se ofende o se da por aludido…

Lo mejor de lo mejor son los que ponen en “como ser EMO en 10 pasos” que el artículo les ha servido para mucho, que llevaban bastante tiempo buscando esa información….MAREMEUA!!!!
Espero que publiquéis mucho más…me parto con lo que decís, pero lo que responden ya…TELA!

Lo dijo Sandra el 02.01.2009 a las 16:17

solo se que nada se y los emos me paresen bien lo que pasa es que algunos los desacreditan dan a conoser al emo como una persona estupida pero en realidad cada quien hace lo que se le de ganade igual manera estoy empesando a ser emoigualdades para todos

Lo dijo jhon edison el 13.01.2009 a las 17:33

En mi casa escucho Madame Butterfly
haciendo apneas en la bañera:
¿ es eso moderno?
contestadme por favor…
¡ Ah !también me gusta mucho mofarme del Planeta ESO.

Lo dijo amelie el 25.02.2009 a las 19:19

hacer apneas en general yo creo que sí es moderno.
- ye, dónde vais?
- vamos al fuenca a hacer apneas, te apuntas?

Lo dijo maiquel_nait el 25.02.2009 a las 20:02

¡QUÉ FARTITOS ESTÁN TOS D´UN MES D´ASITUNA

Lo dijo Lolo el 27.02.2009 a las 20:52

Jjajjajaja que bueno, me ha encantado el post, la verdad me identifico totalmente, y digo yo…¿Qué tiene de malo ser moderno? Me encanta (L) La verdad que me he reido bastante, porque muchas cosas de las se dicen hay es cierto :D
Y Como dice Silvina Magari: Lo que esta de moda no es decir “Soy moderno” sino decir “Ya no soy moderno”

Vivan los putos modernos!!

Lo dijo Dario el 03.04.2009 a las 18:04

Esto es pura mierda!!! que malo el post!!!

Lo dijo Jodanse el 25.05.2009 a las 00:07

“yo tuve un novio coreano…señores YO SOY MODERNA”

Lo dijo Paula el 03.09.2009 a las 18:23

jajaja todo esta G-nial me hizo reir el decagono del emO jaja saz yo convino Emo-mOdernO xD

Lo dijo QueRiSa_xD el 28.09.2009 a las 21:31

Ser emO-mOderno es valiDo?

Lo dijo QueRiSa_xD el 28.09.2009 a las 21:32

vaya insulto decir que radio 3 es de modernos eso solo lo dice un ignorante como el creador de esta pagina, podias aver dicho m80, kiss fm pero radio 3… eso solo lo dice el tipico que ve, oye o siente algo que no va con el y dice es moderno sin ton ni son. En esa cadena de radio podrias escuchar de lomas antiguo ode ahora hasta canciones celtas o la pantoja de puertorico si te va bien.
Ahora que? si te gusta la musica tambien eres moderno ? Por favor.. no se que debes ser pero un buen bicho raro seguro.
Me gustaria saber quien usa el soulseek .. una cosa ke la usaba yo hace 7 años por lo menos.. dudo que aun sea conocido. Eso solo lo usan los frikis de internet, los modernos mas bien usan emule o torrents no?
Este blog le llamaria el Blog del iracundo

Lo dijo Yeah el 01.01.2010 a las 08:52

No se si te has fijado Yeah pero este post está en la sección vintage y fue recuperado hace 4 años, vamos, que se escribió hace unos cuantos mas… por eso lo del soulseek

Lo dijo Templeton el 02.01.2010 a las 21:35

Y luego está el sentido del humor, que es que hay que explicarlo todo…

Lo dijo Acid Queen el 03.01.2010 a las 03:37

la verdad no entendy ni papa de todo esto pero me encanta todo lo que dicin aka jajajajajajaja me mato de la risa en cuanto alsenor crus esta bien que defienda lo que dice solo que ya no se que hacer tomar lo consejos de ak o no que hago realmente soy moderna ups.creo ya ni se nada lo que si les digo que en mi trabajo soy el centro de atencion que hacer para que no se quieran vestir como yo ya que hay una chica que quiere ser como yo me da un poco de envidia cuando lo hace pero en la mima le digo que se ve bien y es mas hasta mejor me cae cuando lo hace que sig. todo esto que algien me explique please

Lo dijo jacquellinne el 04.01.2010 a las 04:28

que paso con mi respuesta

Lo dijo jacquellinne el 07.01.2010 a las 03:50

para ser moderno solamente necesitas ser uno mismo
no es necesariamente estar cortandote o bailando a los saltos (supùesto baile flogger)
entonces aprendan de una vez
hay un comentario que dcie que una vez en la vida se tiene 16 años
es cierto …
pero se pusieron a pensar?
tienes una sola vida!!!!
es muy facil de entender
ya el que no es un idiota!!
ok

Lo dijo Linkin Park Argentina® el 07.01.2010 a las 23:13

Igual que los emo, dicen que dan asco bisbal, bustamente, o gente parecida, porque a ellos no les guste no tiene que ser una mierda, y eso de cortarse las venas? es una novedad o algo? es madre mia, que imbecibilidad, hacer el favor, cortarse las venas y quedaros hasta que os desangreis, vereis que modernos soys! viva lo gilipollas!

MUY BUEN CONCEPTO!!!!
APOYO EL CONCEPTO!!!

Lo dijo Linkin Park Argentina® el 07.01.2010 a las 23:15

No me voy ha acer pijo

Lo dijo No me hare pijo el 15.02.2010 a las 14:51

ser moderno te hace parecer maricon y algo diciendo que “mira mira soy mejor que tu lalalalallaa”

Lo dijo No me hare pijo el 15.02.2010 a las 14:52

Genial el decálogo del moderno, o mejor dicho, del que se hace llamar moderno, ni yo lo hubiera definido mejor, jajaja.

Lo dijo Emma el 11.03.2010 a las 18:07

la vdd es q hace un montn de tiempo, pero cmparto las opiniones de gatita norte.. y me ha chocado muchísimo encontrar esto, pork coincido en muxas kosas publikadas en el decálogo, y no lo he aprendido en ningun sitio, solo porq me gusta, y para la gnte que se mete cn el decálogo, esto no está para que la gente cambie su forma de ser, es un artículo humorístiko e iróniko, y kreo k a kualkier moderno (me doy por aludida) le hará mucha gracia ver que muchas de las cosas que pone aki son ciertas, solo k no tan exageradas ;)
pero sigo opinando ke es un artíkulo de muy buen rollo y skrito por una prsona kn un muy buen sentido del humor, por cierto.. ARRIBA MISS KITTIN!!! (L)

Lo dijo Rachel el 27.04.2010 a las 22:17

joder que toda mi vida vivi enganiado, pero no mas, por fin podre destacar entre los demas (es sarcasmo eee) xD

Lo dijo Marcus el 01.06.2010 a las 17:13

Enhorabuena, de lo mejorcito que he leído en mucho tiempo. Y mira que soy moderno y leo ehhhh

Lo dijo CHEMA el 21.07.2010 a las 13:26

Genial!! Por fin encuentro una descripción perfecta de estos especímenes que tanto me fastidian.
¿Es que de verdad no se dan cuenta de que NO son diferentes al resto de “tribus urbanas”? ¿Y de que todos ellos repiten el mismo discurso?

Sean emos/góticos/visuals/geeks/grungers/hiphoperos/darkers/punks/heavys/metaleros/mods/otakus/rastafaris/skinheads/floggers/hippies/canis/ravers/rockeros/gafapastas/skaters/pijos/cristianos/etc,etc. buscan diferenciarse de la masa y para ello se agrupan en pequeños rebaños de ovejas clónicas.
Aunque curiosamente ninguno es capaz de ver lo evidente de su contradicción.
Al fin y al cabo las ovejas no son muy listas…

P.D.: Ah, y que conste que yo también fui en su día una oveja con aires de grandeza, jeje.

Lo dijo martina el 26.07.2010 a las 11:31

Jajajajaja, que risa jajajaj me hicieron reir con los 10 pasos para ser moderno, que tomadera de pelo jajajaaj

Lo dijo Ivonne el 07.09.2010 a las 21:07

esto era lo que le hacia falta a ma vida para encontrarale sentido asi que gracias por aconsejarme si

Lo dijo jairo el 12.09.2010 a las 00:53

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Lo dijo Maki el 29.12.2010 a las 23:43

ESO DESER MODERNA NOES TA GUACALA QUE DIGAMOS ES SER CHIDA AL 1000PORCIENTO TE RECON MIENDOSER MUGAMODERNA

Lo dijo DULCES el 31.12.2010 a las 05:12

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Lo dijo ¡MAMÁ, QUIERO SER MODERNO! (Parte 2) | Unhappy & Idiot el 28.02.2011 a las 00:14

se os ha olvidado también un paso fundamental, escribir en una revista haciéndo entrevistas y hacer las preguntas mas absurdas ke se te puedan imaginar, puedes contestar tu mismo, no importa te lo inventas como por ejemplo: tienes alguna manía al llegar a tu casa? si, subo y bajo los escalones tres veces antes de entrar

Lo dijo auroriabogadadelosyonkis el 20.01.2012 a las 16:05

También es muy moderno escribir frases chorrazas como “me pica un pie” y que tus amigos modernos le den a me gusta.
Mención aparte debemos hacer a los nuevos ricos pijos antaño Surferos reconvertidos en “Modernos” de pacotilla.

Lo dijo Satán del Perchel V.S Oscar Wilde de la Palmilla el 20.01.2012 a las 16:15

aaaaaajajajajajaj o poner: hoy voy a comer huevo frito, como estado en el facebook

Lo dijo auroriabogadadelosyonkis el 20.01.2012 a las 16:19

Eeem,si,no sabia lo que era un moderno y entre en esta pagina para enterarme…y ya me he enterado.Los modernos sois los que menos personalidad tienen de todas estas tribus urbanas que hay ahora.Es facil ser moderno,lo unico que tienes que hacer es ser un hipocrita de mierda.Ademas decis que sois,os contradecis diciendo que sois los primeros en copiar las cosas y luego que lo mejor sera llevar un el peinado que puso Beckham de moda hace 7 años.Pero de que vais?no teneis personalidad,estais vacios,por dentro,sois supermanipulables,si,porque veo que hay gente que te agradece esta chorrada de decalogo.Sois peor que el cristianismo!!

Lo dijo Miraaunamoderna el 25.05.2012 a las 10:53

jajajajajajajajaja que grande!!! si señor… me identifico… si soy moderna…. pero moderna rollo vintage…. a mis 30 añitos pasados… vivo con los pitillos, las chapas, las camisetas de rayas y las converse desde que tenia 13 años— y no mama no!!! no pienso madurar y las bambas estan mas bonicas llenas de mierda!!!!
se os ha olvidado que un buen moderno lleva su coleccion de pulseritas de festivales hasta el comienzo de la nueva temporada!!

Lo dijo Superpiruleta el 26.09.2012 a las 00:07

yo quiero tener el flequillo me encantaveo a miiis amiigas y quiero pero notengo el flequillo tan grande q hago hay otro peinado o q hago para q me cresca el flequillo me urge

Lo dijo estefania el 21.11.2012 a las 00:03

esto no ace nada porque resulata que vivo en el campo y es un asco son muyyyyybuenos consejos perooo yo no tengo ropa waiiii la tengo fea porque me la elige mi madre jajajaja

Lo dijo paula el 09.03.2013 a las 20:56

algo asi como esto que me encontre en la web?????

http://www.behance.net/gallery/Fauna-Moderna/10318687

Lo dijo lauri096 el 11.08.2013 a las 16:42

¿Alguien (por ejemplo el que, deduzco, es el autor: Sr. Crus) puede decirme cuándo fue publicado esto por primera vez? Aquí sale noviembre de 2006 pero sé que es anterior. Me gustaría saber de cuándo exactamente (en la medida de lo posible). Gracias por adelantado. ;-)

Lo dijo X el 14.03.2014 a las 21:35

Ser moderno es ante todo es amar a la naturaleza y a todas las manifestaciones espirituales, estar en contra de la violencia o es que se han olvidado tantas cosas que han pasado, es ante todo respetar toda clase de tendencias y no ser esclavo del mercado.

Lo dijo fernando el 09.04.2014 a las 20:41

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Lo dijo Romper y empezar de nuevo - Blog de follamiga el 29.10.2015 a las 10:08

[…] HUMOR:COMO SER MODERNO EN DIEZ PASOS1. UniformeLos skins llevan sus bomber, sus botas militares… Los heavys sus mallas apretadas y camisetas negras… Como moderno, tú eres distinto a los demás, con personalidad. Y eso se ve en la forma de vestir. Al ser moderno, serás el único que lleve chapas, gafas de sol de policía o de vista de pasta negras, zapatos Camper, pantalones anchos que dejen ver tus calzoncillos de Calvin Klein y chanclas para salir por la noche rollo “paso de todo”, chaquetas de chandal con las mangas a rayas… Y si eres chica, serás la única en llevar merceditas, medias de rayas, cinturones de perro, camisetas a rayas de “donde está Wally”, una corbata, bolsos de ir a la compra…MAS MODERNO TODAVIAUno de los puntos fuertes del uniforme y las pintas, está en la androginia. Chicas hombrunas y tíos con rasgos copiados de Brian Molko son lo que más está pegando ¡No te quedes atrás!2. Móntate un WeblogEstá claro que para ser moderno, es muy importante tener un weblog. De esta forma, puedes contarle al mundo todas tus moderneces. Aprovéchate de él para contar todas las fiestas a las que vas, qué malo es el mundo en guerra, por qué no vas al festival de Benicàssim, cuáles son las últimas canciones que ponen en Siglo 21 (programa de Radio 3 que debes oír, por cierto, IMPRESCINDIBLEMENTE para ser moderno)…Mejor aun es un fotoblog, en el que poder poner fotos de todas tus fiestas, las caras de tus coleguis, y la ropa que te vayas comprando y rompiendo.MAS MODERNO TODAVIAIncluye, en el fotoblog, fotos de tu gato, así como una tracklist con la banda sonora de tu vida, poniendo las canciones más modernas que jamás hayas oído nunca. Intenta, también parecerte a Bjork o a Amelie en tus fotos si eres chica, y a Guille Mostaza de Ellos, si eres tío.3. OmnipresenciaPara ser moderno, no te puedes perder un sarao, tienes que estar en TODOS: conciertos, inauguraciones de exposiciones, de restaurantes; festivales de música, de arte, multidisciplinares (mezcla de arte, videoarte y djs, ¿se puede ser más moderno?),… Todo se basa en enterarte de esos saraos, ir sin avisar a nadie, y luego encontrarte a tus coleguis allí. Qué cool es eso…MAS MODERNO TODAVIARecuerda que lo importante de todo es “haber estado allí”. Intenta recorrer varios sitios la misma noche con tu cámara de fotos (digital, claro), acabar en un after, y luego dile a tus amigos “¿no estuviste anoche allí? Yo sí, fue una pasada”. ¡Quedarás genial!4. Soulseek y mp3, buena combinaciónEl avance de las últimas tecnologías ha hecho que cada día sea más fácil ser moderno. Da igual que en tu pasado hayas repudiado de los ordenadores, y hayas pensado que lo de Internet era para friquis. Ahora quieres ser moderno, y necesitas un ordenador conectado a Internet. Ahora, gracias a las redes P2P, puedes bajarte más y más música, toda la que sale en esas revistas que te compras y en siglo 21, aunque luego no la oigas.Soulseek es el programa utilizado por excelencia; el Kazaa y otros por el estilo son para pringados que no saben quienes son Chk!, Chk!, Chk! (tú tampoco hasta hace dos días, pero ahora son imprescindibles). Ahora, gracias al mp3, puedes decir frases como “tengo la discografía completa de Autechre”, ya que cuesta muy poco tenerla en el disco duro, y menos aún bajártela, ya que tus padres te pagan internet para que estudies. Eso sí, para ser moderno no hace falta que la hayas oído entera, basta con tenerla en el disco duro. Artistas como Autechre, Alec Empire, Noriko Tujiko, no hay huevos a escucharlos más de diez minutos seguidos, pero qué cool queda tenerlos en el disco duro…MAS MODERNO TODAVIACon lo fácil que es hacer música hoy en día, y siguiendo la filosofía del “Do it yourself” que ya hicieran los Sex Pistols, bájate un par de programas de hacer música, un teclado midi, y conviértete en el rey de la tecnomierda: ¡saca tus propias canciones! Además, hacer las letras de las canciones es muy fácil, con temas como: la moda es lo peor, me gustan los Chupa Chups y la Nocilla, críticas a otros músicos, putiferios, porno,…Algunos nombres de grupos tecnomierda que todavía están disponibles y que puedes usar: somos lo peor, electropornoclash, la habitación verde, la habitación rosa, la habitación gris…5. Gastronomía, el moderno es sibaritaHasta hace nada, le ponías cara de asco a tu madre cada vez que te ponía pescado para cenar. A ti te gustaban las hamburguesas, los macarrones y los espaguetis a la carbonara… Pero ahora que eres moderno, las cosas cambian: te gusta el sushi. Te encanta el sushi. Si oye tu madre que comes pescado crudo, te mata por chaquetero, pero es que ella nunca entenderá lo cool que resulta distinguir, delante de tus amigos, entre sashimi, sushi maki y nori maki.MAS MODERNO TODAVIASi de verdad eres moderno, el sushi que más te gustará es, por este orden, el de tortilla, el de langostino y el california (con bocas de mar y aguacate). Intenta desafiar a tus amigos en el restaurante japonés pidiendo cosas que ellos desconozcan: chirashi, gyosa, yaki tori (¿no sabes lo que es, tío?)MÁS MODERNO AÚNExplícales, también, desde tu postura de moderno, la gran e increíble diferencia que existe entre el té que toman tus amigos habitualmente, y el té japonés, ¡porque tú la sabes! Haz de la misma forma con la cerveza japonesa –Sapporo, por ejemplo-… ¡Cómo se nota la diferencia!MUCHO MÁS MODERNO AÚN¿Te has planteado hacerte vegetariano?6. Cambio de ValoresAl igual que sucede con el sushi y el pescado, cuando eres moderno, hay términos que cambian de valor. Siempre has pensado que a tu padre le gustaban cosas antiguas, pero ahora tú has despertado un especial gusto por lo oldie . Hace unos años, te reías de la gente mayor que oía a los Smiths, New Order, etc. (vaya carcas), y ahora a tí te encantan. Tampoco es lo mismo cuando en la 4ª planta del Corte Inglés dicen “moda joven”, que tú, que sabes lo que es la ropa trendy y cool. Los ruidos que dan por culo, ahora se llaman click’n’cuts. Y el sonido que sale del Casiotone que te regalaron al tomar la primera comunión, ahora es electro, y sirve incluso para dar conciertos. Un sitio con olor a vómito, gente ciega con los ojos en blanco, un tío que se parece al Humberto Janeiro bailando a las 10 de la mañana, es un after (cuando toda la noche no es suficiente para ser moderno). Lo que tú bebes no es ginebra con limón, ¡es ginlemon!MAS MODERNO TODAVIARecuerda que un moderno no inventa, solamente que es el primero en copiar, así que no te inventes tus propias palabras, y sácalas de las revistas y weblogs que veas.7. Intolerancia, si señorUno de los puntos fuertes de ser moderno es la intolerancia que te debe caracterizar. Con lo que mola ser moderno, quien no lo es, ¡es que es gilipollas! A ti te gusta Miss Kittin, porque es lo que toca, pero es que gente como Bisbal o Andy y Lucas ¡deberían estar muertos! No entiendes cómo la gente puede ser tan vulgar, ¿verdad?Tú, como moderno que eres, tienes tu flequillo, tus chapas, tu mochila rollo mod… Pero la gente, ¿cómo pueden comprarse la ropa en Zara? No se dan cuenta de que van todos iguales? ¿Por qué no van, como tú, al Pull & Bear? Un moderno es de los pocos especímenes que es capaz de acudir a manifestaciones anti-globalización con zapatillas Nike, e irse luego a comer sushi al piso (de Ikea).MAS MODERNO TODAVIAEl colmo de lo moderno es meterse con las cosas modernas, ser anti-moderno. Por ejemplo, el año pasado fuiste al Sonar, pero este año no, entonces el Sonar es una puta mierda, y Benicàssim también8. Personalidad y distinciónAnte todo, tiene que quedar claro que tú no respondes a las estrategias de marketing destinadas a la gente normal, tú respondes a las estrategias de marketing destinadas a los modernos.Ahora te gustan las zapatillas Puma, las Adidas Originals,… esas zapatillas que se ponía tu padre para recoger tomates, y le costaban cinco veces más baratas que a ti ahora…Si el grupo Entre Ríos se hubiera dado a conocer en el Gran Hermano, no los podrías ni oír, pero como lo han hecho por el Soulseek, Spanishpop y por Siglo 21, ¡son la caña, tío!Tu fuerte personalidad también se ve plasmada en tus amistades. Tienes amigos gays que, a pesar de eso, son simpáticos. Tienes también un amigo japonés con el que, aunque no puedes hablar más de dos palabras porque no se entera de nada, ¡puedes hacerte fotos para ponerlas en tu weblog!MAS MODERNO TODAVIACuando un amigo tuyo friqui te pasó por el Soulseek la canción de Dragonstea, era la caña, ¡qué canción más friqui! Te bajaste el vídeoclip y todo. Pero ahora, recuerda, para ser moderno, hay que borrar eso del pasado y repetir: “Por favor, qué asco de canción”.9. Pelos y peinadosYa sabes que el pelo es una de las partes más importantes de un moderno, ya que te caracteriza a primera vista. Debes dejarte un gran flequillo que te permita tener algún ojo tapado para cuando te fotografíes con tu gato para salir en tu weblog.Una práctica muy utilizada por los modernos es cortarse el pelo tal y como lo hacen las grandes estrellas, pero 3 años más tarde. Por ejemplo, Beckham ya llevaba cresta años ha, y ahora aparecen los más modernos del lugar con cresta. Y qué decir del corte de pelo del Vaquilla, corto por arriba y largo por detrás…MAS MODERNO TODAVIAEl truco de todo esto está en pasarte más tiempo despeinándote que peinándote. Y no te olvides de los ganchitos del pelo, da igual que seas tío o tía: ¡viva la androginia!10. Trabaja en sitios coolMucha gente piensa que lo más moderno y cool es cenar y comprar ropa en sitios fashion, pero están equivocados. Lo más cool ya no es acudir a estos sitios, sino trabajar en ellos.Trabajar los viernes y los sábados de 12 a 8 poniendo cubatas en una discoteca es, hoy por hoy, uno de los puestos de trabajo más solicitados por los modernos. Cómo mola tener una camiseta de Custo para mancharla de aceite sirviendo foie con caramelo, mientras suena de fondo el disco de Saint Germain.¿Y los festivales? Un buen moderno entra gratis al Observatori, al FIB, al ESTE,… porque trabaja como colaborador –colaborando a pegar posters por la ciudad, a barrer el suelo…-.MAS MODERNO TODAVIALo más moderno, en este caso, es gastarte en vestuario más de lo que cobras. ¿Será por pelas?Y recuerda, si algún día te echan de un sitio, y ya no trabajas allí, automáticamente ese sitio pasa a ser lo peor. ¡Puaj!http://www.alababarada.com/?page_id=95 […]

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